‘✓Seen – just now’

Why? What genius (I SHOULD AT THIS POINT QUIETLY POINT OUT THAT THE WORD ‘GENIUS’ WAS USED FOR THE PURPOSES OF SARCASM) at Facebook thought this up? And not only that; there would’ve been a meeting at some point, with other Facebook executives, where someone presented this idea on a projector screen and everyone nodded in agreement – yes, this is a good idea, people will be really happy about it, it’ll make us millions. It boggles the mind.

Now, I’m afraid to read messages from anyone without that message passing a security screening via the notification on my phone first. If it demands a long reply, I don’t open it for days. If it doesn’t, I still don’t open it for a while, even if I’m doing nothing. Facebook actually trained me to not open messages. On the flipside, when I send someone else a message and they accidentally open it without replying within two minutes, I get saddened by the idea that they’re insensitive enough to leave it seen, and think they’re probably gossiping with my other friends about that sick party I wasn’t invited to. Basically, this function made me reply more slowly and feel more insecure.

At this point I’d usually try to rally you behind a solution but there isn’t one. Screw you, Facebook.

-Z